Memorable Quotes by Sandy Cohen during Season 2
Memorable quotes from Sandy Cohen during Season 2 of The O.C.. For quotes from other seasons, see Memorable Quotes by Sandy Cohen. The Distance : Kirsten: You're doing that thing where you think that I'm ignoring you, so you start speaking gibberish to see if I'm listening. : Sandy: Aw. You were listening. : Kirsten: Nope. The Way We Were : Sandy: Since when is Scotch part of a nutritious brunch? : Sandy: Have dinner with us. I won't cook, I promise. Although if Kirsten's mad enough at you, she might. : Sandy: Don't say anything. I'll follow you to the station. to the arresting officer. I'm his lawyer. The New Kids on the Block : Kirsten: You quit? : Sandy: Quit slash got fired. : Caleb: When I have champagne I get giggly. : Sandy: When do you ever get giggly? : Caleb: What do you suggest I do? : Sandy: I suggest you find a way to make it up to Kirsten now. Unless you want Julie to be your lawyer too. : Sandy: She's agreed to an supervised visit. 20 minutes, max. : Caleb: She's my daughter, I don't need to be supervised. : Sandy: No, I'm supervising her. I'm afraid she might kill you. The SnO.C. : Sandy: What could he have done that would be so terrible he'd rather go to jail?... Unless, life with Julie Cooper... : Kirsten: I don't want you getting into trouble over this. : Sandy: Oh, honey, I think it's a little late for that. : Sandy: Never underestimate a parent's ability to mortify his children. : Sandy: Even if you were having an affair, 16 years is an awfully long time to be paying alimony... Unless there's a child. The Chrismukkah That Almost Wasn't : Sandy: Facing Kirsten and Julie has got to be better than going to jail. : Sandy: I've had so many clandestine meetings lately I feel like I'm in an Oliver Stone movie. The Family Ties : Sandy: I'm guessing it's too soon to joke Seth. Even for a Cohen. : Jimmy: I've got terrible news, really. I've fallen in love with my ex-wife. : Sandy: You were married before Julie? : Marissa: I brought bagels. : Sandy: Well that's the secret password into the Cohen household. The Power of Love : Sandy: Nothing like Julie Cooper to put fear into the hearts of children. : Sandy: We can't fight a war on multiple fronts. Have we learned nothing from the Nazis? The Ex-Factor : Sandy: Ask me while you're giving me the massage. I'm inclined to say yes. : Sandy: Okay, honey, I don't want to alarm you, but there's a giant Julie Cooper on the table. : Sandy: It's my fault. I've once again gotten caught up in this nasty game of Hungry, Hungry Hippo. The Accomplice : Gail: As you can see, it's a bit of a fixer-upper. : Kirsten: That's one way to put it. : Sandy: Who are you kidding, Gail? This place is a first-class dump. And I like it! : Kirsten: You're going to prison? : Sandy: Oh, just for the day. The Second Chance : Sandy: I can see how that might salt your game. : Rebecca: "Salt my game"? Is that how they talk in Orange County? : Sandy: Stick around, you'll be saying "rad" in no time. : Rebecca: We should celebrate! : Sandy: Yeah, I'll go rent out Chucky Cheese. : Sandy: Yeah, while I'm harboring a fugitive I'll go score some pot on the street. The Lonely Hearts Club : Sandy: There are days that I think me and Kirsten are bulletproof. I don't wanna test that theory. The Test : Kirsten: Have you seen Seth? : Sandy: Well I've smelled him. Smells like Teen Spirit to me. : Ryan: (about Hellboy}: He tries to do good but he usually ends up destroying everything. : Sandy: Ah, good. My kinda hero. The Rainy Day Women : Kirsten: You took the bus. : Sandy: I told you, nothing could keep me away from you. : Kirsten: Is it over? : Sandy: I can promise you it never started. The Mallpisode : Seth: Ah. Father. I'm glad to see you finally found your calling. : Caleb: Exactly what I said. : Sandy: Ah, nothing like a good crack about a plumber. : Caleb: You really want that ring, don't you? : Sandy: More than anything. : Caleb: I'll get more quarters. The Blaze of Glory : Kirsten: He wants to take it beyond gossip and dish. Focus on culture, the local art scene. : Sandy: So it's really more of a pamphlet than a magazine. : Sandy: Julie, you scared me. More than usual. : Julie: Always a pleasure, Sanford. : Sandy: Only Caleb gets to call me Sanford because he won't not. : Sandy: So you started out with a porn director and ended up with Caleb. I'd consider that a lateral move. : Sandy: Only a couple of weeks in Newport and already his spirit is crushed. : Julie: Please tell me you have some news. : Sandy: Well unfortunately Lance is as sleazy as he looks but not as dumb. : Julie: I am so screwed. : Sandy: I know. I saw the footage. The Brothers Grim : Kirsten: I know Trey is the only family that Ryan has and I do think that we should help him— : Sandy: But you're scared I'll want to adopt him. : Sandy: Well, this is the crib. The Risky Business : Seth: Yeah, a divided house can not eat. Now we all gotta get together between a single action hero. : Sandy: Steve McQueen. : Seth: Steve Ma-who? : Sandy: My own son doesn't know Steve McQueen. : Trey: You know a lot of people like Great Escape. I gotta go with Bullit. : Sandy: He cooks breakfast and a McQueen fan. I knew I liked you. : Seth: He surfs, he sings, he practically fights crime. Maybe Sandy Cohen could be our action hero. : Sandy: Just say the word, son. : Sandy: He very chivalrous, not unlike a young Steve McQueen. : Sandy: So a charity event where the donors keep half the profits and a yardsale with no yard. Hm. So that's how they do it in the OC. : Kirsten: Sandy, it's an honorary chair. A figure-head position. You'd be the master of ceremonies, like an auctioneer. And you know what an MC has. : Sandy: An unfair advantage. You know the opponent's weakness. : Kirsten: That's right. A microphone. On stage. With an audience. A captive audience. : Sandy: And a few showtunes, perhaps. : Kirsten: You just have to go by the Club today and say hello. : Sandy: Just a figurehead? : Kirsten: With a mic. : Sandy: Hey, guys. I'm chairing The OC Pseudo-Charity Non-Yard sale. : Newpsie: The job of the chair is to choose table linens, flatware, centerpieces. : Sandy: Alright, okay. I'll help Trey with the lifting. : Sandy: Joanne. Tell me you didn't order those napkin rings? This is not a mob wedding. : Joanne: Gosh, Sandy, I thought they were kind of fun. : Sandy: No. : Sandy: Okay, folks, here's a beautiful Erté-esque statue. Yes, indeed. Very fetching. What do we start the bidding at? $75. I guess it's more "esque" than Erté. The Rager : Sandy: I tell you the timing in this household is a thing of beauty. : Sandy: You're just out of practice. Everybody hits themselves in the face with the board. : Carter: Three times in one wave? : Sandy: Well, that was impressive. : Kirsten: Hey Carter. You look nice. : Carter: Sandy told me to spiff it up a bit. : Sandy: Yeah, I didn't want him to embarrass us. The O.C. Confidential : Kirsten: Neither of us are actually in the right shape to drive just yet, so—. : Sandy: A little too much of the Indian Spirit, huh? The Return of the Nana : Bobby: She's a great lady, huh? Your mom. Quite the pistol. : Sandy: I always thought of her as more of an AK-47. : Sandy: Look at Ma. A cell phone. : The Nana: I'm very hip. : Sandy: I guess so. : The Nana: I just can't read the buttons. The Showdown : Sandy: Do you think I look like Tony Blair? : Kirsten: Uh, you have nicer hair. : Sandy: Good hair, leader of Great Britain. I would call it a wash. : Sandy: Did you have an affair with him? : Kirsten: You don't get it, do you? : Sandy: No. The Dearly Beloved : Sandy: Caleb Nichol was not a man of many words. He was however a brilliant man. He leaves a legacy of possibility. But his true achievement were his children. He was a caring father, a wonderful grandfather, a truly terrible father-in-law... So, he may be gone, but he won't soon be forgotten. Rest in peace, Caleb. And if you can't do that, I'm sure heaven could use a few more McMansions. : Julie: If it would help, I could take over Kirsten Watch for awhile. : Sandy: I don't know if anything's gonna help. : Julie: So then let her glower at me. I'm used to it. : Sandy: Unfortunately, so am I these days. Thank you Julie. : Hailey: How long has this been going on? : Sandy: Too long. Last night sealed the deal. She's getting help whether she wants it or not. : Sandy: You are a part of it. Whether you want to or not. You want to run away again? Get in your boat and sail away? Your mother needs you. Sandy